Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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