The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
