All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
