Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize