I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
