which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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