mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
