guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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