so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
