omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
