this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
