White coat. Heels.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
