I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
