Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
