I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
