you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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