Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Randomize