when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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