If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
It's just like the Real World with babies
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
