My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
They took my balls.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
