Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
