i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
