Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
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