I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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