Did you just see the Batmobile???
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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