I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
