Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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