you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just pee around me
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
