I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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