A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
