remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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