I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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