I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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