Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
How does one acquire holy water?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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