Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
