But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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