I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
