He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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