When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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