i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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