New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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