he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
