If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
