Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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