between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
