Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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