: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize