Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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