I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
