Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
