I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
you made out with another girl for some wings
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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