So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
