"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
