He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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