Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize