Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
