Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
