I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I have tasted many bathrooms
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
