i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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