you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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