Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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