everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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