i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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