And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
