how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
