It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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