i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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