Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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