is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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