Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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