I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
