he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
