Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
